Settled
I had this thought last night… it was a weird thought and one I am not sure how to deal with. For the first time in probably 10 years I am at a place in my life where I content… there is no waiting for something better to come, there is no wishing I could be doing something different. I am completely at peace and I am not sure how to deal with that. I know that must sound weird but it’s the truth! For so long I have been waiting for something better. Waiting for school to end, waiting to live someplace I really like, waiting for a job I love, just waiting.
The past couple of years it has been that feeling of not knowing what’s next that keeps me awake at night. I would daydream about the perfect job in the perfect place and how my life was suppose to be going. But now, when I try to imagine up a better place to be in my life I really cant do it. I mean there are things I would change, even now, but in general I completely at peace and I really like this feeling.
If I could change how I felt for the past 10 years would I?.... no I think not. Without the struggle to figure out where I am suppose to be I a) wouldn’t be where I am today b) not appreciate what I have now and most importantly c) would not have learned how to trust God the way I do.
So for all of you who are at the end of high school, or in college and struggling with the feeling of unrest and uncertainty take it from me, it does get better. And for as frustrating as life can get…. The timing of God is never what we expect and always for our good.
“But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands”.
~Psalms 31:14-15